Despacio, Que Voy de Prisa

Slow cause I’m in a hurry… I’m in a hurry of falling in love. Of connecting in a deep and intimate way with someone.

When setting myself a goal as important as falling in love I have learned that I’m better off if I take it slow. Why? Because it is important that I do it right. If I do it slow I increase my chances of finding true love and of not fantasizing. If I hurry up I increase my chances of getting hurt again, and that is not acceptable. Not willing to do that to myself anymore.

Today I finally understood what I’m looking for in a relationship. Yes. Today Thursday, June 24 from all the days, something finally clicked.

I’m looking for two things. One is someone who I respect and admire. That is important because that increase my interest of spending time with this person. At the same time, this person needs to make me feel special, loved and cared for.

Interestingly enough the only two relationships I have had since my divorce, included only one of those two components. Bonbon was sweet and caring… he truly made me feel very special. Yet, I had no respect for his lifestyle and life goals. On the other hand, I highly respected VSM (very special man), his lifestyle and life goals… we were completely connected in that regard. Yet, he did not make me feel special, nor cared for or loved.

At least now I know I’m looking for a “combo” of those two. And I will take it slow. Slowly enough to allow me to stay in reality and do not start fantasizing about the person who attracts me. I want to fall in love with the right person. With a person that will love me back the way I want to be loved. Crazy in love. Totally and absurdly crazy in love.

This has become a priority in my life. For that reason, I’m in a hurry and I will take it slow.